Managing

(This picture is from years ago - just after Spike was born. It's not quite so dire right now).

So, today is the first day Ryan is back at work, and though I spent a fairly sleepless night (helped along by Bell kicking me in the stomach every so often) fretting over it, so far things haven’t been a total disaster. I managed to get Bell up and dressed and fed, and then Spike up and dressed and fed (he’s on spring break – which allows me to ease into this new Mama situation a little more than if he was in school) and then I even got me up and fed and dressed (no mean feat – Bell had to hang out on the bathroom floor for my two minute morning shower). I even did the dishes (a fact that is probably making my husband gasp in astonishment right now, and say “Wait a minute! If she can do dishes with the baby in the room – how come I did all those dishes these last two weeks??”). After we all ate and put on clothes, we bundled up even more and took the dog for a short walk (she can’t handle very long walks anymore because she tore the ligaments in one of her back knees. Poor doggy). It’s almost spring. We’re so close. There was that classic mixture of mud with flowers of ice on the ground – and the air was just warm enough not to wear gloves. I love walking in the woods with Fang Fang – I love thinking about the fact that all this nature is new to her (I’m not sure there was any kind of outside play space for the kids in Changzhou, and I suspect, from the way she beams whenever we get outside, that she basically never got out of the orphanage). After our walk, we came back here and had lunch (my life is a never ending series of meals) and read Hand, Hand, Fingers, Thumb! a few dozen times, and got the mail and received three HUGE boxes of hand me down clothes from the inestimable Emme Lu and her dear Mama SBird (seriously- it was like Christmas. Totally insane) and then I put on Stevie Wonder, and somewhere in the middle of Isn’t She Lovely? Bell fell asleep for her afternoon nap. Which is the only reason I am writing anything right now. Because the girl is sleeping.

Y and I are meeting with managers this week. We feel like it’s time to be managed. It is not ideal that I am here, and Y and the managers are in L.A. – but I am making phone calls and standing around in my downstairs bedroom trying to sound mildly professional while Ryan tickles the baby and manages the boy in other rooms. We have great people we’re meeting with (which is good, because they are meeting with us because they like our work) and I’m excited to find just the right person. Someone who not only knows the business and can guide us through our careers, but someone who, (as Y put it) I would want to have over for dinner as well. We have been very lucky so far in our choice of agents and lawyers – and this manager should complete the triad we need to have a long and successful career. It’s amazing to me that we’ve come this far. This time last year we were putting the finishing touches on our first script – wondering if we were deluding ourselves, wondering if anyone would even like it – and here we are a year later, talking with our agent about managers, punching up our second script, and halfway deep into our third. I love my work. I love working with Y. I can’t wait to see this all really take off.

With spring around the corner, I feel like there is a million things to get done. The gardens need to be cleaned out and fed, the house needs cleaning (oh lordy, does it ever need cleaning) and airing, there are various projects and necessary fix-its that need tending to, friends I haven’t even had a chance to see since we got back from China, thank you notes to write, doctor and dentist appointments to schedule.... Easter this weekend and then Fang Fang’s second birthday the weekend after that! And of course, it is time for me to start working again soon. Not just taking meetings, but actually getting back down to putting words on the screen. And it’s like I’m doing all this left handed with my eyes closed, it’s like I’m rusty and squeaky and need to figure out how to begin again, because there is this new little person in the house – one who looks up at me so imploringly and claps so cutely to get my attention – one that I just can’t resist when she signs “More Read Book”, one who seemingly needs to eat every five minutes, one who throws out her arms for hugs and giggles. And sometimes I think I could just cast everything else aside- the hell with work and cleaning and responsibility! I’m going to spend all my time snuggling with her sweet face! But that would be unwise, to say the least. And I honestly not only want to work again – but need to work. And I know I can find a way to get in those snuggles and still write a good line of dialogue here and there. I did it before. I can do it again. Babies and writing are not, as some people might have you believe, mutually exclusive.

The first golden crocus opened yesterday. Spring is right around the corner. And it is the year of the Rat – which is my year. And my daughter sleeps sweetly next to me as I write. And my son is bumping around in his bedroom upstairs. The dog snores. I can see a patch of blue sky from here. It is time to jump back into things. It is time to start working again.